Africa

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Africa is stupid

Africa is one of the Earth's seven continents, although it should be considered incontinent the way it shits all over itself decade after decade with no end in sight. Africa is responsible for the spread of humanity, as it sucked so bad that the earliest homo Sapiens could not wait to get the fuck out. Africa is the home of blacks, niggers, and African-Americans. Some of the animal life include Lions and Zebras. It is the second least awesome place-to-go-if-you-don't-want-to-be-mauled-to-death, behind Australia. South America is Africa's baby brother, because they look similar.

Contents 1 Timeline of History 1.1 The Early Years 1.2 "Hey we can talk" to "Hey look at that boat!" 1.3 Modern Times 1.3.1 War 1.3.2 AIDS 1.4 The Future

Timeline of History

The Early Years

Thanks to evolution some monkeys decided that the ground was better to chill on than high up in those trees, which thanks to gravity, could be somewhat dangerous. Once they got down there, they noticed that there were a lot of pissed off animals with teeth, so they were forced to develop larger brains. These brains helped them even out the score with these mean animals, by allowing them to invent cannons. Cannons kick the shit out of lions. However, some of the hairless monkeys were vegetarians and all the smells of dead rotting lions and wildebeests laying around was making them sick, so they moved to Europe and Asia and turned funny colors.

"Hey we can talk" to "Hey look at that boat!"

Slowly Africans learned how to talk and have social groups. A few thousand years later, whities from Europe came back and gave the Africans the gift of civilization, for the small price of a few black people. However, the Africans squandered this gift and instead decided to run around killing each other and sitting around a campfire singing stupid songs in weird clicks.

Modern Times

You are here.

Today Africa is still the perfect example of wasted opportunity. They still do nothing productive or useful, and are a huge burden to the rest of the world. Anything good that comes out of Africa, such as diamonds or rap, is the result of the whiteman. As can clearly be seen, Africans seem to actually be regressing back to their monkey ancestors. Indeed, the rest of the world has to send them food, like they are pets of the wealthier nations. This is also readily apparent by whenever you bring guests to Africa, the Africans begin to hump their legs.

War

The only thing black people hate more than white people is other black people. Without doubt, there is at least one genocide happening somewhere in Africa at any given time. In cases where whites have tried to help, they just get angry and shoot down helicopters and drag dead white people naked through the streets. They lead the world in spear related assault and batteries.

AIDS

Africans infected the world with AIDS by being gay with each other, and their best solution to the epidemic has been to rape little babies. Meanwhile, the rest of the world has already cured it, although the pharmaceutical companies withhold the treatment until the gay pestilence has been eradicated.

The Future

You are here now.

The future of Africa is unclear. Will the ancestors of all humans one day wake up and conquer the galaxy with spaceships and diamond-tipped space spears? Nobody knows, but the answer is probably no. As of right now, it appears that in the future Africa will be known as the "African Ocean," a place where whites dug out all the dirt to have a place for all the melting icecaps to go, using the dirt for tiny little luxury islands in funny shapes. Africans will be learned about in the same chapter as the dinosaurs, except less intelligent and not the causes of their own demise.