Activism
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Activism is stupid.
Very plainly speaking, activists are assholes. Activists are pretensious people who have nothing to do. Well, lots of people have nothing to do (like myself, for example), that's for sure, but most of them spend their time online (sometimes contributing to the EOS), socializing in the outside world, reading, watching movies, playing videogames or masturbating. Not activists. Activists are so full of themselves that they think they can change the world with their spare time.
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Modus Operandi
The following steps describe how these fuckers act in forcing their will unto anothers.
- Being brainwashed: the first step to activism. An activist can turn a normal person into another activist by using propaganda, creating neophytes. Just talk for five minutes with an activist, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Normal people can usually just shrug off activist babble, but those with weak will might be easily contaminated.
- Changing of Ways: once infected, a neophyte will immediately forget his past life. For example, neophyte vegans will abhor the act of eating meat, despite having eaten a huge chunk of beef five weeks before. This is called boycotting. Since they hate a product or service so much they'll stop using it in hope they'll collapse. Unless they're rich and important people (like Bill Gates), this effort is in vain: they fail to do any damage to the economy. Which brings us the next step.
- Brainwashing: the neophyte having grown into a fully developped activist, s/he'll gain the ability of spreading propaganda as well, to create new activists. Propaganda can be spread by word of mouth, websites, posters, graffitis on walls and even by TV commercials when a group is powerful enough. These features such as changing ways and preaching make activists somewhat like Christians, therefore even more diabolical.
- Street Marches: this'll happen when many activists for a certain cause gather around together with other people who also have nothing better to do. They'll get some picket signs with silly slogans out of their asses and walk around for a while, yelling. Eventually they'll get bored and go home for dinner or the police will get bored and attack them (making a street march much more fun to observe). This should cause them to dissipate, since activists never protest against problems serious enough for them to want to become a martyr. And yes, sometimes they strip down naked too.
- Terrorism: sometimes when a group of activists has enough money and is really crazed, they might resort to terrorism. A good example being the Animal Liberation Front or that riot that happened in France some time ago, and there were cars in flames and stuff. This is when they stop being just a nuisance and start getting dangerous. Of course, they're rare as few people have the will to go that far for a cause. Also, if they get caught they'll get screwed for sure just by being related to the T word.
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Causes
Activists fight for many causes, thus there exist many types of activists. None of these causes is even vaguely important. The most common types are:
- Vegans: people who feel sooo sensitive because animals are slaughtered for their meat, leather and fur. They also want to save the forest and shit. I bet they don't even care about the damn animals, they're just doing that to look cool to other activists and have a holier-than-thou feeling towards non-vegans. I'd like to see the look on their faces if it was proved that vegetables feel pain just like animals do, or have souls or something. Watch the fuckers starve to death. If they feel so guilty with animals suffering and forests disappearing, then, why don't they just kill themselves for nature and stop consuming precious resources?
- Potheads: they want to legalize cannabis. Probably because they've been caught by the police or by their parents or have a friend who was. What they don't see is that legalizing marijuana will mean nothing to them. Marijuana is not legal in most countries and still people smoke it. Marijuana being illegal didn't stop these activists themselves from smoking it, so what good would the legalization do? We'd have more stoned deadheads around? Is that what the world truly needs?
- Firearms Enthusiasts: these are people who realize that the end times are nigh and the only thing between them and Red China, Big Government, Space Aliens, King George, and Sasquatch is the gun under their pillow. Central to their cause is the arguement that a law created in a time when the leading cause of death was "tomahawk" and "darkies" worked "the fields" must obviously be an applicable and unquestioned law today. In a strange twist, firearms enthusiasts are prone to prolonged legal battles with liberal asshats who want to take away our guns as part of their secret evil plan to smoke pot and provide healthcare to children. You would think they would realize that legal battles are sort of the long way around as they have guns and the liberal asshats do not. But, as luck would have it, they are stupid.
- Oversensitive Christians: since Christians are pretty much against everything that makes life worth living, they're very prone to fight those things. What is in now is protesting to keep abortion and stem-cell research illegal. Just because they think abortion is a sin, they want everybody else, regardless of their own religions, to think the same. Not only that, they want the state to think the same. It's a nonsense similar to Jews wanting to ban pork because it's not kosher (of course, Jews wouldn't do that. They already secretly rule the world along the masons, they don't need to protest).
- Moralist Assholes: these are the guys who want to ban movies, bands, TV shows, books and videogames for sexual/violent content and harsh language. They believe everybody is as gullible as they are, so that if their children see violence on TV or a videogame, they'll become violent. Since they're closely related to the Oversensitive Christians, they label all "rock'n roll music" (this is what old people call music with guitars and stuff) as Satanist. They think that if their children see sexual content on a movie on TV, they'll masturbate and start playing sexual games (forgetting that children, much like animals, did that long before the tube even existed). They're frustrated parents who are sure that the world - not their own incompetence - is to blame for their kids turning up differently than they expected. Moralist Assholes are a pain because, unfortunately, they often get what they want and are the ones to blame when your favorite movie gets censored, your favorite TV show gets cancelled, your favorite book/game gets banned and when your favorite band is not allowed to play in your town.
- NAMBLA: old geezers who want to exact their god-given right to fuck young boys. 'Nuff said.
